Why do you have a shovel?
by kikkie
Summary: The sequel to Why do you have a Stripper Pole in your Room is here! The Miraculous gang is back with a whole lot of nonsense and jokes! Plus the ongoing problem of their class mates and Gabriel. And also the question on everyone's mind...why is Adrien carrying a shovel? Rated T for weird jokes and awkward moments.
1. A shovel and a Begining

"So...does anyone else find it weird?" Alix asked her friends as she stared at our five hero's talking amongst themselves at another table.

"That those five suddenly became friends?" Luka asked. "It is weird."

"And also Chloe is being nice with Marinette...I wonder what they are talking about..." Rose said as the group of their classmates stare at them. Trying to figure out what the five kids were talking about.

"Maybe they are planning world domination?" Max says. "And Marinette is the ringleader..."

"Whatever it is...it must be important..."

* * *

(The five)

"I will kill you first before you become a porn star!" Nino shouted at the glasses-wearing girl.

"I said a photographer for Playboy, not a porn actress Nino! And that's like after my four dream job idea's died with the rest of my dignity and faith for humanity." Alya shouted at her friend who was next to her. "Seriously, the day I star in porn is the day I officially stop caring about my siblings and family members."

"That day is not far away though." Marinette muttered.

"And also, there is no shame in being in porn Nino! Those girls are heroes!" Chloe said.

"To whom!?" Nino shouted.

"The many men and women that must release at night." Marinette said in a weird high mighty voice.

"Okay, no more porn watching for you." Adrien said.

"Secondly, let's be honest..." Alya started. "If _**ANY**_ of us were to star in porn...it be Adrien."

"What?" Adrien shouted.

"Or cam-boy." Chloe said.

"I certainly will not!" Adrien shouted.

"Seriously, how did we get on this conversation?" Marinette asked.

"I don't remember, something about horse shoe's, mermaids, a stripper pole, why Adrien has a shovel and Zelda. Also, tupa..." Alya said. Marinette shakes her head before saying:

"Back to the main subject!"

"The shovel?" Chloe asked as she looks over to the shovel by Adrien's feet.

"No! Although I would like to ask why that is there?" Marinette asked her boyfriend.

"Uh...fall is here." Adrien said, this made Alya gasp.

"Fall is here! Leaves are turning brown! Death is coming and you're sitting here asking me what a Tupa is?" Ayla says to Adrien. The green-eyed blonde male gasp before saying:

"Where the fuck is a Tupa?" Adrien asked.

"Great sentence's to start a sequel fanfic secret that will haunt this story to the very end." Marinette muttered.

"A Tupa is basically a white girl dish made from a warehouse store." Chloe responded to Adrien question. Adrien looks over to Marinette for a second before shaking his head NO. Obviously Chloe had the thing in mind, but it was best to ignore her.

Okay, back to MATRIX RAVE..." Nino started. Marinette drops her fork and looks straight into Nino's eyes.

"I am not doing it."

"Why not?" Nino asked.

Because we're 16-year-olds entering a music dance contest that are for 18 and higher. We shouldn't even be signed up, how did you get permission?"

"Gabriel." Nino said, making Marinette look at Adrien.

"Yea! My dad co-signed..." Adrien said as he remember his father writing down something while in his mild coma Adrien put him in. He didn't even know it was possible, but...yea Adrien took advantage of it.

"That sounds suspicious."

"Don't worry about it babe." Adrien said.

"So, back to the rave thing." Chloe started as she picks up the flyer paper Nino had brought in for them to see.

"If we are doing this, what's our name?" She asked.

"Oh! The illegal five!" Alya said with a smile.

"Why are we putting the word illegal in our name!?" Marinette asked.

"Because this might be the least illegal thing we might do in the future...ignoring the tupa...and other's." Alya said, this made Tikki pop her head right out of Marinette bag.

"There are other's!?" Tikki shouted.

"As far as you know..." Alya said as she tries to avoid eye contact with the tiny creature.

"What's our theme too, some the people on this poster look like they have themes. Beach theme, neon theme...furry theme?" Chloe asked. Alya looks over Chloe shoulder and nearly laughed at what she saw.

"Naughty..." Alya muttered.

"I am not going on stage with a purple thong." Marinette muttered.

"What the hell do you think furry is Marinette?" Chloe asked.

"Some sort of fetish that involves furry things!" Marinette said.

"How do you draw hentai and not know what a furry is?" Chloe asked

"Because I don't go in the deep down dark depths of Google." Marinette said as if she was horrified at her words. "Not after learning what a blue waffle is..."

"Ugh..." Alya muttered as she tried to keep her imaginary vomit in her stomach.

"Ew! No, I have something better planned!" Nino said. "We go as our hero counterparts!"

"Over my adorable tiny body!" Tikki shouted from Marinette's purse.

"I agree with Tikki, what if people put the pieces together?" Marinette asked.

"Well, I already have that part covered." Adrien said before pulling out a picture of horribly drawn humans that was suppose to represent them. Marinette flinches a little at the terrible drawn people her boyfriend produced.

"How are you the son of a fashion design?" Marinette asked.

"Hey, I was born with looks not drawing skills. That's why you and I are going to get married." Adrien tells her.

"And Marizied it!" Marinette said before taking Adrien sketchbook of horror's. She begins to draw two figures, a female and a male.

"Okay, let's start with Nino!" Marinette said with a smile.

"What the hell are you five doing?" Alix asked. Marinette nearly dropped the book as the five looked at their peer.

"Talking! What are you doing!?" Chloe asked.

"Wondering what you five are doing!?" Alix asked. TO this, Alya said the randomist thing.

"We were getting diet tips from Adrien." She says.

"Yes, asking how get keeps that figure while eating tons of food..." Chloe said.

"Yea!" Adrien shouted. Ignoring the almost buffet like meal in front of him curtsy of his girlfriend. A few seconds of silence past before it accord to Marinette to ask:

"Wait a minute, how do you make your model weight limit if you eat all the time?" Marinette asked.

"I puke." Adrien said in a casual manner. Although he wasn't lying, this was a habit he did recently stop.

"WHAT!?" All four of the teens shouted. Making Adrien shake his head before saying:

"Nothing..." Adrien said. Before Marinette could say anything to her boyfriend, a HUGE flash went off in the area. Practically blinding everyone in the area for a bit. By the time Marinette had open her eyes, she was seeing dots everywhere for a while.

Is that a meteor?" Alya asked. Marinette looks up from the ground to the sky to see a giant ball of death flying towards Paris.

"No." Adrien responded.

"That IS a meteor." Marinette said.

"No its not!" Adrien responded.

"ADRIEN THAT IS A GIANT ROCK OF DEATH!" Nino shouted at his best friend.

"DAMMIT HAWKMOTH!" Adrien shouted. "I just wanted one goddam day normal!"

"What?" Alix asked with wide eyes.

"Nothing! You heard nothing! Go on your marry way!" Adrien said, and like that, the five ran out the area. Leaving confused faces all round.

* * *

Kikkie: Not as funny as the first story, but a working progress. Thank you and I hope your ready for another roller coaster of jokes! Please review.


	2. Costume's, Luka and a Shovel

"Nino, I feel as though it is time you die." Chloe says as the young man hands her a yellow mini skirt. The five teens was standing in the empty P.E. gym with multiple bags of clothes that Nino and Adrien bought. Apparently they didn't want to listen to Marinette when she said she was going to make the clothes of the group and just bought a bunch of clothes the girls could try on. Unfornutally, the girls were not having it.

"Oh come on, it is not that bad!" Nino said. Only to be corrected when Alya pulled out a green g-string from one of the large bags. She then looks over to the red hat wearing male with a confused expression.

"I swear to you…that is a piece of a whole costume."

"You bought a costume that had a thong in it? Where were you shopping? Adult-party city for young whores?" Alya growled.

"Or maybe the outlet store for stripper's and above." Marinette said as she pulls out what appeared to be a nipples bra.

"There's an above?" Adrien asked.

"Oh yea." Marinette responded. "Its located in between my sanity and self-respect."

"Okay, we hear your completes! That's why we came up with plan B." Nino said with glee before pulling one of the bags behind him to the front.

"In all honesty, you shouldn't have thought up Plan A." Alya said before Nino empty the bag in front of the girls. Multiple types of dresses, shoes and even jewelry fell out of the large plastic bag. To Marinette's surprise, it wasn't as bad as the last couple of bags.

"Okay, Nino…" Marinette started as she grabs a dress that had a Ladybug pattern. "If I go walking around with this on, People would put the pieces together."

"Or they can be oblivious to it. Like you and Adrien for that time you were fight crime."

"That is so not true!" Adrien growled.

"Adrien, how can you tell I was the bubbler, a white face with a bubble weird look costume that made my body look weird, but couldn't tell Marinette was Ladybug! Who I might add just wears a Ladybug pattern costume and mask." Nino said. The group remains silent for a few seconds. Waiting for Adrien to give a response.

"I wasn't looking hard enough…" Adrien responded in shame. A second later Plagg's laugh was heard coming from his bookbag.

"Back to the main subject!" Marinette shouted. "What are we gonna do about this costume? Since we are going as our counterparts, I feel as though we will need to change a bit more than our outfits."

"And added notes, can we lose the sex appeal? We're 16, our asses and titt's shouldn't be out there!" Alya growled.

"Then just wear the dresses!" Nino said.

"They are ugly!" Ayla growled. This made the two begin to bicker back and forth, Chloe to get on her phone to check something and Marinette to ask:

"So, what's this I hear about you leaving your home?" Marinette asked her blonde of a hunk boyfriend…or secret boyfriend. She was technically dating Chat Noir as everyone in Paris saw, but in reality of the group, she was with Adrien.

"It's a long story, I just think I need some time away from my dad. I rather not talk about it." Adrien informs his girlfriend. Or rather lie to her, the truth was Adrien recently found out that his father was HawkMoth. He also found some creepy stuff in his house, killer animatronics, a cult room and many other things. Basically, Adrien found fit it was time to leave.

"Okay." Marinette said, her sweet smile made Adrien's heart melt. He almost leans down to kiss her, only to stop when a certain voice ruined the mood.

"Hi! Marinette!" A voice shouted from behind, making Adrien jump on all fours like a dis-angled yoga cat after seeing a cucumber behind him.

"HISSSSSSSS!" Adrien hissed! He knew who that voice belonged to, and he disliked it dearly. Marinette, on the other hand, didn't mind the presence.

"Hello Luka, what are you doing here?" Marinette asked, ignoring her weird boyfriend's position as he creates a shadow around her. Making Luka see that he must stay a few feet away.

"So we're just going to ignore Adrien sudden special ability to turn into Batman?" Chloe asked the bickering couple, making them stop and look over to Adrien hovering over Marinette.

"Well he is the night." Nino said.

"Mentally or physically?" Chloe asked.

"Is there really a line?" Alya asked.

"I don't know! Chloe googles the ten stages of depression, we will start there." Nino said.

"I'll just skip the long intro and go to stage ten." Chloe said. Making Adrien stop what he was doing to look at his friend.

"I AM RIGHT HERE!" Adrien shouted at the three.

"Okay, have a good day!" Marinette said, allowing Luka to walk away from the five weird teens. Once gone, Marinette sighed before turning around and tackling Adrien onto the pile of clothes. Making him fall on his back, she climbs on top of him, holding his hands down in the process to restrain him from grabbing her.

"How are you so freakishly strong!? You're like 80 pounds!" Adrien shouted.

"Technically I am 125 pounds, and why are you so weird!? Acting that way like Luka was hitting on me!?" Marinette shouted.

"Because he was! Can't you see he wants you!" Adrien growled.

"Adrien, Luka is just my friend! Like Kim or Max." The blue haired girl responded.

"I don't want you near him like you don't want me near Kagumi." Adrien said. Alya leans towards Nino to say:

"Am I the only one that notices that Kagumi is a Japanese version of Marinette. While Luka is like a bad boy version of Adrien?" Alya asked.

"Babe that's a bit racist." Nino said. He then begins to think of Kagumi and Luka's appearance and personality…to his shock Alya was correct!

"Oh my god." Nino muttered.

"Promise me!" Adrien shouted at his girlfriend. The blue haired girl releases his arms before sitting on top of his stomach. Crossing her arms over her chest, she nods her head at his words.

"I promise I will not be alone with Luka anywhere." She says.

"Good, now I don't need the shovel." Adrien said with glee.

"What shovel?"

"The one I use to kill animatronics." Adrien said with a smile. "Spoil alert, that's going to be a future chapter!"

"What?" Marinette asked.

"Nothing…" Adrien muttered as he bits his bottom lip, hiding his smile.

* * *

Kikkie: Stressed, tired and very sad. College is not fun kids, but go anyway! PS- Adrien did break the fourth wall, I will be making a fnaf like chapter in this story.

Thank you for reading, please review and have a lovely day!


	3. Herbert, Wheelchair and no shovel?

"Is that a bomb?"

Rena asked Queen Bee as the two stared at the large device connected to the back of the largest hotel in Paris, AKA the mayor's home.

"You know, I sort feel that HawkMoth is getting worse at picking his victims. Like they are more violent than the last." Queen Bee said.

"The guy with the Nuke will always haunt my nightmares." Rena muttered. Behind the two girls were their comrades fighting off the man-bomb throwing lunatic that kept blasting Chat Noir into the sky.

"I'M BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" Chat shouted as he flew into the blue sky. Ladybug just sighed at the sight of her boyfriend become a star.

"All units, we have entered the world of anime! Prepare for big booded young girl's that are actually men." Ladybug shouted before throwing her charm into the air. What she got back was a bit of a shocker.

"I was joking…" She muttered as she looks down to the ladybug pattern banana.

"So…we gonna make him trip on the banana?" Carapace asked as he holds his shield up high. Blocking the bombs being thrown his way.

"I have no idea dude."

"BOMBS AWAY!" Rena shouted before throwing the bomb she found at the man throwing bombs. Ladybug and Carapace dunk at the man flying to another building. When his body hit the building, he slowly falls down to the point he falls to the ground. Once on the ground, the five teens approach him. When he looks up to the five, all of his teeth were gone.

"Oh dear, want a banana?" Ladybug asked the man. Taking the fruit from her, he begins to eat as Ladybug does her magic. Fixing everything in the area. Once done, she and the other teens jump on top of a building. With their charms beeping, they flew across the sky. For a few seconds, then Rena gasp.

"Ground!" Rena shouted. Her friends nod their heads before descending to the ground. A bright light fills the empty area...all but one certain color.

"Wait, where's Alya?" Marinette asked, a second later her question was answered when Alya came flying down straight into the garbage can right next to her.

"HERE! AND ALIVE!" Chloe shouted.

"Yea, barely!" Adrien responded as he helps Alay out the trash. Once out and free, the four head to school to sneak into class. Only to stop when they heard:

"YOU FIVE! CLASS! NOW!" The five teens heard. Turning their heads to the side, they saw a large man with orange hair in a blue suite staring at them.

"Hello, new person I have never met before, who are you?" Marinette asked with a smile. In reality, she is somewhat dying on the inside, but she hides it on the outside.

"My name is Herbert," The large man says. "I new head security at school. Too many people getting hurt, me security now."

"A big tall man is going to stop a butterfly from possessing people to do dark and crazy shit?" Adrien asked.

"Akuma not crazy." Herbert said.

"From your accent and appearance, I take it your not from here. So let me give you some advice, whoever says Akuma aren't crazy, slap them! Slap them hard and good," Chloe growled. "Because as a person who has been hunted by Akuma hundreds of times..."

"More like thousands." Alya muttered.

"They are asshole's who do anything to hurt you. And also get a miraculous." Chloe said, making the large man raise his eyebrow at her.

"Miraculous?" He asked, making the blonde girl gasp.

"Nothing!" She shouted before running into the building. The other four soon follow to enter a very pitch black was so dark that when the door closed, they couldn't even see their own hands in their faces.

"Ooooh..." Alya muttered. "I sense someone didn't pay the electric bill."

"Or Foxy is roaming the halls preparing to kill us." Marinette jokingly said. This however made Adrien's eye's widen in fear.

"WHERE IS MY SHOVEL!?" Adrien shouted.

"Adrien shut up!" Alya shouted.

"Yea! You screamed right in my ear!" Marinette moaned.

"Seriously dude, what sort of PTSD shit did you go through?" Nino asked.

"Life." Adrien growled. Suddenly, the lights turn right on! Shining the room to an image of a girl in a wheelchair. A second later, the chair twist and turns before finally facing them, to their shock...it was Alix.

"Hello...guys." Alix said as she turns the chair around. An evil smile on her face, the five teens stared at her for a few minutes before Nino asked:

"How did you turn on the hallway lights?" Nino asked.

"That is the least of your problems." Alix said.

"Your waiting for us in a dark spooky hallway is the least of our problems?" Adrien asked before asking again: "Wait a minute, why are you in a wheelchair? And why in the hallway!?"

"That is none of your concern!" Alix responded, crossing her arms in the process.

"But that is an answer I would like to know." Adrien responded.

"Ugh! Shut up and answer my question!"

"What question!? You haven't asked anything! All you did was say hello in a creepy way in a dark spooky hallway," Marinette shouted. "Which reminds me, we should talk to the principle about putting in some windows."

"I know, it brighten the hallway's and use less electricity." Chloe said. A second later the group started to nod and agree with Chloe, only for Alix to snap and shout:

"WHEN DID YOU FIVE BECOME FRIENDS!?"

"Once upon a time, in a faraway land of mind your own business," Chloe started. "The five of us met up and decided, we like each other. The end."

"That was the worst story I heard."

"And yet I can possibly sell it to Disney and make millions," Chloe said with a prideful smile on her face as she held her nose up high. Alix, on the other hand, was beyond confused about what was going on. Stomping her foot, she makes a low growl sound before saying:

"I will find out your secret!" Alix shouted.

"Why?" Marinette asked.

"Because this is just weird! You five together is just weird!" Alix shouted.

"You five..." Alya started. She raises her hand and points to Chloe. "Or us just hanging out with her."

"BOTH!" Alix growled. "I mean, Marinette and Adrien are hanging out normally! Adrien is happy! Alya is not worried about her Ladyblog anymore! And Chloe is being nice! NICE!?"

"And me?" Nino asked.

"Eh," Alix responded. "To be honest, your that normal guy that gets along with everyone."

"Wow." Adrien muttered. Marinette walks in front of the group. Placing her hands on her hips, she gives Alix a stern look before saying:

"Whatever we are doing is none of your business. For you to say that is such a...old Chloe move!" Marinette said in a stern and mom like voice. Chloe eyes widen in shock at her words, but doesn't stop Marinette from talking.

"You have no right to act this way Alix! We don't owe you any type of answer's what so ever! This isn't Pretty Little Liars!" Marinette growled.

"Perfect!" Adrien sang.

"Now, if you do not mind. We are late for class, and so are you. So get your pride, your dignity, your wheelchair, and what's left and of sense and go!" Marinette growled before walking past Alix with her nose held up in the air. Leaving behind chaw's on the ground as she walks to her class. Once she was in the middle of the hall, she heard clapping coming from Tikki in her purse.

"Good job!" Tikki said. Marinette couldn't help but to smile at the tiny creatures words.

* * *

Kikkie: Where is a shovel when you need it? Thank your for reading, I hope this one was funny! Please review and tell me what you think!


	4. GET THE GOAT!

"Okay, Nino!" Chloe started. "Kim has ten bags of weed. He smokes four, then gives three to Rose to sell. She sells three, then gives the remaining to Kim. The police then find him with the bags of weed, how many bags of weed will sentence him to jail time?"

Chloe asked her group of friends. The five were in their pre-calculus class in a group of five doing math problems.

"What the hell kind of question is this!?" Nino asked the blonde girl, ignoring Marinette counting the answer in with her fingers.

"I think the answer is four," Ayla said, ignoring Nino's words.

"No, it's five!" Adrien responded.

"It's three since Rose sold all three bags, she didn't give Kim any," Marinette responded, making Chloe applaud the blue haired girl.

"Correct." Chloe cheered. Nino just stared at his friend balfold at what just happened.

"Did we just become drug dealers?" Nino asked.

"Nothing says pre-calculus than street math." Ayla chuckled.

"Weirdly enough, I understand this."

"I don't.

"Okay, imagine if you have eight prostitutes at your dismay." Marinette started, her words soon gain the attention of her classmates, her teacher included.

"How did he get the prostitutes?" Adrien chuckled.

"We don't know, he probably sold Kim's weed," Marinette said before continuing. "Now then, you rent three of them for the night. Two come back, while another stays longer because she has another client. How many prostitutes are by your side?"

"Uh…Two came back…five stayed…seven?" Nino asked. The group of friends then clap in joy at Nino's understanding, his classmate, on the other hand, had something to say:

"What the hell are you guys doing?"

"We are learning pre-calculous by using the skills gathered by play GTA!" Ayla responded.

"Its sound's like you five are planning a gang run." The classmate asked.

"We are not." Adrien chuckled. His left hand slowly moves a piece of paper from in front of him to his bookbag, hiding his plans for something evil related he didn't need his friends knowing.

"You five are weird." Another classmate said.

"Oh please! It's not like we're doing anything bad!" Chloe growled, a second later, Ayla stood up from her seat, then pointed to the open front door and shouted:

"TUPA!"

She yelled, making the other four teens look out the door to see the gold fur goat walking by. Marinette is the first to stand up, with her bookbag in hand, and yell:

"GET THE GOAT!" Marinette screamed before jumping out of her seat to chase down the black goat standing in front of the school. Her friends soon follow later after the black fur creature. Running down the stairs, the group chases after the animal.

As they ran, Adrien notices something in the corner of his eye, something that made him stop in his tracks.

"Dad?" He asked, shocked at the appearance of his father. His father was standing on the top of the staircase with his signature cane in hand. Or as Ayla likes to call it, his whipping stick. And yes, Adrien and Nino are disturbed she calls it that.

"Adrien!" Gabriel shouted as he stands right in front of his son.

"Why do you always stand at the top of a staircase when you're talking to me!? You literally look like a condescending jerk in khaki!" Adrien shouted.

"Wait, we went down those stairs, how did we not see him?" Marinette asked.

"Where the goat go?" Ayla asked, snapping the others from their trance to look around.

"Dammit, we lost it again!" Chloe shouted before searching the area. Nino and Marinette run back upstairs to find the goat. This caused Gabriel to look at his son to ask:

"Why are you chasing a goat?"

"It is a long story that we are not going to explain…yet," Adrien muttered. Gabriel stared at his son for a few seconds, his mouth wide open and prepared to say something gritty. But, he held his tongue back to say:

"I want you to come home."

"Funny, you actually showed emotion." Adrien chuckled.

"I have emotions."

"Your only emotion is mean."

"Like Chloe's mom?" Ayla asked.

"Exactly, and she is the exact definition of abandonment," Adrien said.

"My mom isn't that bad," Chloe growled.

"How was New York?"

"I don't want to talk about it…" Chloe muttered in shame as she looks to the ground.

"Okay, back to the main subject." Adrien started. "I am not living with you until I get answers!"

"I already explain what a pocket pussy is!" Gabriel growled loudly, getting awkward stares from the two girls next to Adrien.

"A what!?" Ayla asked. Out of the corner of her bookbag, where the zipper didn't go all the way down to close her book bag fully, Trixxie pokes his head through a gap to whisper:

"Ready the previous story…"

"Not that! I meant the basement, what is in the basement!?" Adrien growled.

"It is none of your concern what is in the Basement Adrien," Gabriel said in annoyance.

"And that's what gets to me! What are you hiding? Did you kill someone and there's a corpse in our basement?" Adrien asked. Gabriel's eyes look around the room a bit, avoiding his son's eye's in the process. Making Adrien gasp.

"No!" Gabriel shouted. "There is no corpse in the basement, nor did I kill anyone. I just want you t be home like a father who would want his son to be."

"I am not going back into that house for a long time."

"I will get rid of the animatronics."

"YOU STILL HAVE THEM!?"

"I actually lost them…"

"Like everything else in his life." Ayla chuckled.

"Little four-eyed girl, I swear to god…" Gabriel growled, trying to maintain his anger at Ayla.

"You know what, we should talk later about this. Because right now, I have a series of unanswered questions that are about to happen."

"Like what?" Gabriel asked, and just as the second past, his silence did, a goat literally fell down right next to him. Or rather Nino and the goat fell to the ground, with the young man being the landing strip for the animal. In pain, Nino release's the animal as he cringes. Marinette, who jumps down the stairs and landed next to Adrien, like a ninja, charges at the goat in full haste.

"I always knew that girl was special…" Gabriel muttered as he watches the blue hair girl chase the goat into a circle. The animal then stops in its tracks, turns around to look Marinette straightforward. The young woman, a few feet away, stops in her tracks. Bending its head forward, the dark fur creatures show's off its long brown horns at her.

It doesn't take long for Marinette to get the hint. Quickly, she turns around and runs away from the creature as he begins to charge at her. Stomping its feet as he ran, Marinette practically didn't touch the ground. Circles they ran, she moves her body as fast as she could, but the animal was gaining on her. With her quick thinking, actually inherited stupidity from her friends, she throws her body out the window that was the view of the school entrance.

"MARI!?" Adrien screamed as he saw his girlfriend fall down to the ground. Broken glass falls all around her, seconds later she stands up with a smile on her face. Waving her, now blood covered arm at Adrien, she opens her mouth to say:

"I am fine!" Marinette shouted as she smiles ear from ear. Ignoring the semi-giant piece of glass sticking out of her ripped sleeve. The mere sight of the girl horrified Gabriel.

"How is she alive?"

"The real question is, how long till she notices the broken glass in her arm?" Adrien asked. His question was then replaced with another question. And that question happened when the goat that chased Marinette up the stairs fell right down next to her.

"OH!" Adrien screamed as he jumps in fear. Gabriel drops his cane to grip his beating feared full heart. The goat slowly stands up for a few seconds, then falls to the ground and lays there with its head down. Marinette looks down at the creature, ignoring her bloody arm.

"It's alive!" Marinette shouted.

"Oh thank god…" Ayla muttered before running over to Marinette. Adrien looks over to his father and gives him a sweet smile.

"I need to go, talk to you later!"

* * *

Kikkie: Hope this was funny!


	5. Cookies and Art

"Adrien! Keep up with me!" Chloe shouted as she twirls her body to the other side of the room. Ayla follows with Marinette at the end. Adrien follows behind, trying to keep up with the girls as they dance to Nino's music.

"Trying, just a bit tired…" Adrien muttered as he dances towards them. The group was in Chloe's room dancing for Nino's show. So far….they sucked at their routine.

"Oh my god, I hate this…" Marinette moaned as she held her bandaged hand.

"Well, you're the genius that jumped out the window."

"I was just doing what my inner Rico Rodriguez," Marinette said.

"Who?" Chloe asked.

"A Mexican."

"That is racist Ayla!"

"How is it racist if his profile says he's from Mexico?" Chloe asked.

"Oh…" Marinette muttered.

"Calm your snow-flake 2/4th white girl butt self-down," Ayla tells her friend before looking at Adrien. "You okay, you seem out of it."

"I am fine, I am just worried about Nat. She's 23 weeks pregnant, yesterday we went to the doctors to see the X-rays. I think I saw his head…uh think." Adrien said in glee.

"Aww, you must be happy to be having a sibling." Ayla chuckled.

"Yea, this is the best moments in my life," Adrien said. "I am getting out more, I have a job, I have a lovely girlfriend, I don't have to worry about upsetting someone, and the best part, I gained 15 pounds and I don't care!"

"15? You look good!" Marinette chuckled. Adrien gets to his knee's and gives Marinette a kiss on the cheek before hugging her close.

"Nothing can ruin this for me," Adrien said, a second later, the universe decided to give him a call. With his phone ringing in his bag, he leans over to the brown holder to grab his phone. Looking at the caller ID, he saw Nat calling him.

"Huh, she never calls me." Adrien thought before answering his phone.

"Hello, Nat!"

"Adrien I am getting deported!" Her word hits him hard, so hard that he drops his phone. And with that same hand, he places it over his mouth and closes his eyes, tilting his head down in shame.

"Adrien?" Nino asked.

"I need to go…" Adrien muttered in a whimper before walking out of the room.

(Nat and Adrien's home)

"You are being deported."

A large man with a red bow tie tells Nat. She and Adrien were sitting on her couch when she had just received the horrible news.

"Deported!?" Nat shouted as she stood up from her seat, only to stop for a second and sit back down in pain. 23 weeks pregnant and showing, her small figure looked like it was carrying a boulder.

"Yes, you have overstayed your Visa. America awaits you." The large male said in a rough and stern voice.

"But I can't move back to America! It's worse than when I left!"

"When did you leave?"

"Bush last term," Nat said. "Then we got a black president and I regretted my choice for a bit, but now I see its best I stay here…especially with our current president."

"Yea, have you seen their leader!? He makes the mayor look less of a pussy and more of a decent man!

"My country is rolling like a dog."

"Are you calling your country a dog?"

"What would you call it at this point?"

"A population of inbred dumbasses."

"Oh, that is so wrong on many levels," Adrien said.

"Which is why she needs to go."

"Cold," Adrien muttered.

"Ugh, I feel like I am in a lifetime movie…" Nat muttered.

"Yes, you have two weeks to pack your things and make arrangements for America." The male said as he rose up from his seat. "Since the boy is your son, he can go with you."

"Wait for what?" Adrien asked in shock.

"She is mother of you on paper, you go with her to America."

"WHAT!?" Adrien shouted before standing up from his seat. "America! I can't go to America! They will devour me alive there! I barely know English!"

"Do not worry, you are a white blonde boy, you will survive."

"Okay, what is with everyone being racist today!?" Adrien growled. "And we are not going to America! There has to be a way to fix this! Can't she reply?"

"She could, but it will take 15 to 20 work weeks to process." The tall man said.

"I think I would have given birth by then," Nat muttered. Standing up from her seat, she lets out a low sigh before saying:

"Ugh, time to start packing Adrien were moving to America."

"Over my dead body!" Adrien growled before storming out of the room.

"Where are you going!?" Nat shouted from the other side of the house.

"To the place of all horrors and sin!"

"China?" Nat asked.

"What!? No!" Adrien shouted back before the sound of a door closing was heard. When Nat realized he was gone, she looks over to the tall man and said:

"Kids…can't live with them."

"But your having baby."

"Yea, I know." She growled in shame, possibly regretting her choices.

(Agreste Mansion)

"My god Adrien, you look fat!" Gabriel shouted as Adrien rushes straight into his father's office. Sweaty and tired, the young male takes a seat on the chair that stood in front of Gabriel's desk. The chair would mostly be used for clients and/or business people, but today it will be used for Adrien's sweaty body.

"I love you too," Adrien growled as he sat up in the chair, fixing his posture.

"Dad, I need you to do me a favor."

"I am not getting rid of the animatronics.

"No I…you told me you did!" Adrien shouted. A second later, a high pitch laughter was heard from below Adrien. It sounded like it came from the basement of the house. Adrien's eyes widen in horror as he looks down. He even raised his legs to his stomach.

"It's a working process, but let it be known, I will dispose of them very soon," Gabriel informed Adrien. The blonde male takes a deep breath of fear before saying:

"Dad! Marry Nat and make her a French citizen before deportation takes her away!"

"Wait, what?" Gabriel asked.

"Dad!"

"Adrien, I can't just drop everything and marry someone out of the blue. Do you know how that would look for me?"

"Better than that red-khaki suite."

"Boy, I am-which is why I am going to make you a deal." Adrien started, cutting his father off half way. "I will move back here, in exchange you agree to a list of rules."

"The stripper pole isn't coming back."

"Already getting rid of request 2…" Adrien said as he scratches off some words. "But back to my list of demands!"

"Lay it on me."

"1- I will not ask what's in the basement if you promise not to steal my miraculous when I am sleeping or bathing."

"That's all?"

"Well, basically when I am not Chat noir. The same goes for my friends too."

"Fine, next?"

"I get to go out on the weekends and hang out with my friends."

"But you don't have any friends," Gabriel said, before Adrien could return his insult with a mean remark, he was cut off by the loud laughter from Plagg's voice deep at the bottom of his bookbag.

"Back to the list…" Adrien growled, only to be cut off by his father.

"What do I get in exchange for that?" Gabriel asked.

"I will lose ten pounds by the end of this month."

"And go back on the diet."

"Deal, now 3- I want you and I have at least one day together in some sort of activate that is not related to work!"

"No deal."

"Then say goodbye to your blonde dumpling…" Adrien muttered.

"You're more like a candy cane actually." Gabriel chuckled. "And why do you say that?"

"Because if Nat goes to America, I have to go with her."

"Funny."

"I am not joking, I am legally her son now," Adrien said, making Gabriel small facial expression of happiness turn into shock.

"What?" He asked.

"Remember the night you destroyed my door with a chainsaw?" Adrien said. "Then I had to bash you over the head with a shovel?"

"THAT WAS YOU!?"

"I mean my Kwami hit you with the shovel!" Adrien quickly changed.

"I CAN'T EVEN LIFT YOUR PILLOW! DON'T BLAME THAT ONE ON ME!" Plagg shouted from the bookbag.

"Back to the story…" Adrien muttered. "Um, when you were knocked unconscious, Nat forged your signature of adoption papers, then used your email to send them to the state…"

"You…little…shit…" Gabriel growled. His left eye twitches in anger with every single poison he spoke.

"Yea…so…about marrying Nat…" Adrien muttered as his father rises. He could feel anger rising in the room. As a shadow of the appears before him, two things come into Adrien's mind: His dad being a serial killer and where is his shovel!?

(Two days later, in school)

"So you're living with your dad again?" Marinette asked as she walks with Adrien into class. The two walked to school today since Adrien is no longer allowed to drive the car he took from his father's garage.

"Yep, I wouldn't say its so bad. This morning he gave me cookies and milk as a welcoming treat home, so maybe things won't be so bad." Adrien tells his girlfriend.

"How were the cookies?" Marinette asked, sounding a little high and mighty there. Little did Adrien knew that Marinette was a bit angry that he ate someone else's cookies besides her. But honestly, that was the least of their problems, especially Adriens.

"They were okay, not as great as yours though," Adrien said. "They taste funny to me now that I think about. Like a lingering taste in the back of my throat."

"Huh, cookies aren't supposed to do that," Marinette said. When the two got into class and took a seat, Adrien notices something. Something off, it was his stomach! It made a large growling sound that alerted both Nino and Marinette.

"Dude, are you hungry?" Nino asked.

"No…I am-BURZZZ!" A large sound of gas being released from Adrien's bottom alerts the whole class. Faces turn to Adrien as his face begins to dark deep red.

"Adrien!?" Chloe shouted before covering her nose. The room begins to fill with a horrible stench.

"I have to go."

(Gabriel and Nat)

"I am glad you decided to move in with me Nat. I cannot wait to start on the nursery." Gabriel said with glee as Nat moves her belonging into the spare room.

"Same, I can't believe we got married so quickly... Then again, I was shitting my pants when you said marry me or die..." Nat said as she walks over to her new bed. The bed covers were light brown, reminding her of the cookies she ate with Adrien.

"What a pretty shade of brown. That reminds me, did you have a cookie this morning?" Nat asked. This made Gabriel's eyes widen.

"Uhh...yes, did you?" Gabriel asked.

"Yes, cookies are one of my common cravings! Adrien and I devoured the whole portion on the bowl," Nat said with a smile on her face before walking out of the room. Soon the sound of farts and stomach rumbling kicked in, causing Gabriel to bite his bottom lip before muttering:

"Oh no..."

(Adrien)

"UGH!" Adrien screamed as his nails dig into the skin of his legs. eyes closed shut, body twitching, bodily fluids sliding violently out of his body. It was then Adrien realize, that Marinette shall be his only cookie bakery from now on.

"The one day I forget my poo pourri! NOOOOOOOOOO!"

(Bonus)

Welcome to art class 1 on 1! Today we are going to practice the amazing work of art!" A short, brown skin woman with a blonde wig shouted at the room filled with a variety of people. All the people had drawing boards in front of them, allowing them to feel like an artist. Amongst the crowd of people was Adrien and Gabriel! Sitting in the back row, trying to hide in the shadows of the room and avoid the common public eye.

"Adrien, we couldn't go to a movie?" Gabriel growled

"Well I was thinking about that, but then after repainting the toilet from that cookie of laxative and death, I decided to change my mind. Now we're both painting things…" Adrien said with an evil smirk on his face.

"It wasn't that bad."

"I shit my pants in school…" Adrien growled. "You know how hard it is…to keep liquid from falling out of your butt while your running?"

"I don't need to know…"

"I lost a good pair of pants that day. Hashtag, rest in peace shit stain pants."

"Don't be creepy."

"Too late!"

"Now!" The teacher shouted. Gaining the two blondes attention. "I want you to pick up your watercolor palette's! I want you to look at the colors…I want you to be the colors."

"Is that racist?" Gabriel asked.

"Yes." The teacher responded, making Gabriel give Adrien a quick glance. "Now, take your watercolors, and make a picture."

"Wait, what?" Gabriel asked. He looks over to Adrien to see him drawing a red circle with his watercolors. "Wait, what do I draw?"

"Anything, just be creative!"

"How?" Gabriel asked.

"You're a fashion designer. Create!"

"Adrien, that is not how fashion works," Gabriel growled, making Adrien stop what he was doing and look at his father with a confused expression.

"…" Adrien…didn't say. Seriously, he was actually trying to calculate what exactly fashion was if not art. As his hands move and his mind wonders, the clock ticks away, and before he realized it:

"Alright, brushes down!" The teacher shouted. Making Adrien snap from his train of thought and gasp.

"Crap!" Adrien shouted before grabbing his paint board, he then throws it in the trash, causing his father to stare at him.

"What did you make!?"

"Nothing?" Adrien muttered. Not paying attention to the teacher removing the painting from the trash.

"Is this a vagina?"

"NO!" Adrien shouted before grabbing the painting from her hand. "It wasn't meant to be a vagina…"

"Then what was it meant to be?"

"A bunny…" Adrien said in shame. "I don't know what happened, I was thinking of art."

"And art makes you think of vaginas?" Gabriel asked.

"Actually art makes me thinks of Greek sculptures."

"Okay…"

"And most of them are naked."

"Adrien…"

"Wait, a lot of them have men grabbing women. Oh my god, was Greek art about raping women!?

"And we are done!" Gabriel shouted as he grabs his art tools.

* * *

Kikkie: Hopefully that was funny, if not, I am sorry. Btw, I hope you guys can find that Liza Koshy joke in there. Thank you for reading, have a lovely day!


	6. X gonna give it to YOU!

"Adrien, would you please stop leaving lights on when you walk around the house!"

Gabriel shouted from his office as he stares down at his electric bill. It is twice as much as ever since his son and assistance had moved back in.

"NEVER!" Adrien shouted from his bedroom. He was sitting on his bed reading over his homework assignment. By his feet, a rusty shovel.

"Adrien, the animatronic is not going to kill you!"

"TELL THAT TO EXOTIC BUTTERS!"

Gabriel looks over to Nat with a confused expression before asking:

"Exotic Butters, is that a south park reference I am not getting."

"The real shock in that sentence is that you watch south park," Nat says in a deadpan voice as she looks through her paperwork.

"Pfft, he has nothing to worry about," Gabriel says. "Besides, I got rid of that elephant nightmare."

"That was an elephant?" Nat asked with a small hint of fear.

"It was supposed to be…don't know why is trunk looked like…a male penis," Gabriel said in shame. Soon Nat's widen in fear at a sudden memory that clicked in her head.

"Adrien said he had nightmares, was it because of the elephant?"

"In my defense, it wasn't supposed to watch him at night."

"Is that why you hid it in the basement!?"

"I actually stored it in the attic, I don't know how it got into the basement…"

Nat looks at the blonde man with worried eyes. She opens her mouth to say something of concern when she was suddenly silenced by loud footsteps passing by Gabriel's office.

"Who was that?"

"Mr. X," Gabriel said with a small smirk.

"Mr. X? Who is that, a new victim of your butterfly?" Nat asked with a small hint of annoyance.

"Oh please, I got a new animatronic," Gabriel says with a small crackle. Nat, on the other hand, didn't like what she had just heard."

"Oh no…" Nat Muttered.

"His model is called, Mr. X T139, based off a model from something."

"Is it based off a song or a video game?"

"Why do you ask?" Gabriel asked. Seconds later, his question was answered.

 **"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"**

"That's why…" Nat muttered.

Soon, the two saw the small blonde male running for his life away from a very large animation in the shape of a man. For every ten steps Adrien ran, the large animatronic followed closely by one step. Nat gives Gabriel a horrified look as Gabriel rolled his eyes.

"He's going to be fine." Gabriel chuckled.

Soon, they both heard a loud thump out of nowhere. Both standing up from their seats, they walk over to the door. Pushing it fully opened, they saw Adrien limping hastily towards the door.

"Did he just jump out over the rail?" Gabriel asked in disbelief. Nat just facepalms herself. She wasn't shocked at all at Adrien actions. In fact, she was surprised Gabriel didn't notice. Removing her hand, she looks over the rail to shout:

"Is anything broken!?" Nat asked the blonde boy as he unlocks his front door.

"No! I am fine!" Adrien said before opening the door. "Now I am going to go spend the night at Chloe's."

"Why!?" Gabriel shouted.

"Because I DON'T WANT X GIVING IT TO ME!"

The blonde boy shouted before running out the door. Just in time before the animatronic grabbed him. At the doorway, the large human looking machine stops in his tracks. Staring down at the ground where the house and porched lined. Nat, on the other hand, looks up to the roof and begins to think:

"What did DMX mean by X gonna give it to you…" Nat muttered. Seconds later her eyes widen in horror at the realization what the lyrics meant.

"No…" Nat muttered.

"Yes Nat, they did," Gabriel says.

* * *

(Marinette's Room)

"Adrien, what happened to you!?"

Marinette shouted as the blonde climbs into her room through her secret door. The young man had just released Plagg from his ring, allowing Adrien to drop in instead of Chat Noir. Now Plagg was sleeping on Marinette pillow as Adrien sat next to her at the edge.

"Extremely long story short!" Adrien started. "The last story, my dad got animatronic that I let loose in the house!"

"Say what?" Marinette asked.

"Then I destroyed it by bashing its face in with a shovel."

"That would explain your shovel." The blue haired girl muttered.

"Breaking off its penis-like trunk."

"Penis what?"

"Now my dad has gotten a new animatronic that I thought was a human man but turns out to be a babysitting robot that hurts you if you don't listen to it," Adrien explained. He then looks over to his girlfriend, who was staring at him with a confused expression.

"Mari?" Adrien asked.

"Give me a minute…I need to process some things."

She tells him before placing her hand to her mouth. Looking down to the ground, mathical problems appear around her. Her eyes scan that numbers and symbols before her, soon they disappear, allowing her to nod her head to say:

"Okay, so basically another day in the Agreste house?"

"Yes!" Adrien shouted with a smile on his face. He then hugs the blue-haired girlfriend in glee, overjoyed that she understood all of his crazy.

* * *

Kikkie: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! X GONNA GIVE IT TO YA!

Adrien: Your evil.

Marinette: Please review!


	7. Really? Cociane chapter?

"Marinette, please don't think I am an idiot! But I made a horrible mistake and I think I might go to jail, please help me!" Adrien shouted as he gets on his knee's and hugs his girlfriend's leg. Marinette looks to the side where many of her classmates stared at her in shock.

The 16-year-old was in her art class with some of her homeroom classmates when suddenly Adrien came barging into the room. He looked excited and scared, which was something Marinette was used to seeing by now.

"Uh…he must have forgotten his homework again…" She says before grabbing Adrien by the collar. She then drags him out of the room like a whimper cat. Once out of the room, she looks straight at him. Crossing her arms over her chest, she glares at her boyfriend.

"Speak." She growled.

"Okay…" Adrien started. "So, Audrey, who is Chloe's mom just came back from America. So when she came back, Chloe and I asked if we could use her shoes for our group, and she said yes. So go into the closet and find a box filled with cocaine."

"Wait, what?" Marinette asked, but that doesn't stop Adrien.

"Then the police came into the house, searching the area. So Chloe and I panicked and threw it out the window."

"You threw a toy trunk out the window out of a 50-floor building?"

"Then the trunk fell into a truck that was carrying pounds of sugar. So Chloe and I chased after the truck to the school here!"

"Why do I get the feeling I know where this is going…"

"Then the truck came here and the workers assumed the trunk was from the school so they gave it to the lunch ladies. Then the lunch ladies gave it to the health teacher."

"Adrien…"

"Then she made a bunch of babies of them, now the whole school is about to carry a bunch of cocaine bag filled babies that Audrey bought from the Mexican cartel so that she could increase drug use in Paris and collect money on it. Now we have to get the cocaine back or she will found out that we took it!"

"Uh…"

"And what's worse, Paris has been doing this because the funding is dry because of all of the attacks. So Andre and the US made a deal and the US works with the Mexican Cartel and the Russian in a money loop. So if we don't get that money back, Paris will go into a great depression while everyone in the school possibly O.D's on Cocaine cookies!"

"Oh my god it is not even the first page and you have already ruined me for this chapter," Marinette muttered before her eyes glanced at you reads before looking back to Adrien.

"Mari, what am I going to do?" Adrien asked.

"Before or after you go to Prison?" Marinette asked in a deadpan voice.

"Mari!?" Adrien growled.

"Oh my...give me a light, vodka, paper, and fan," Marinette tells Adrien before entering her classroom. Half an hour later, Adrien runs back to Marinette with all the items she asked for. Soon, the two found themselves in the back of the school. Marinette, in annoyance, pours the bottle of vodka into a trash bin. She then throws a bunch of paper in soon as she still puts the vodka in the bin. Once empty, she throws the bottle inside the bin before setting it on fire. The smoke it produces was soon waved over towards the school. Turning on the school's emergency water sprinkles.

"RUN!" A student shouted before running out of a classroom. Soon, other students followed from other classrooms, leaving the area empty. Adrien's eyes widen to the size of plates.

"You are amazing," Adrien said.

"I know. Now, time to get your cocaine!" Marinette responded with a smirk on her face. Marinette tells her boyfriend. She was about to turn around to return to her class but was stopped when Adrien hugs her from the back. Marinette couldn't help but hug him back.

"Adrien!" A voice shouted, causing the two to separate before the eyes were fully on them. It was Lila, Marinette greatest annoyance.

"Hi, Lila!" Adrien said with a disturbing smile of guilt and fear. Marinette on the other hand just wanted to walk away. Something she did a second later.

"Oh no..." Marinette muttered before getting down to business in cleaning her boyfriend's mess. Lila on the hand would not let her go, sidestepping, she appears before Marinette. Stopping her from walking away.

"Marinette, I need you for something!" Lila said with a smile, but the blue-haired girl was not having it. Not today at least.

"If it is my undying attention, the answer is no," Marinette said. Have you ever been done with someone's shit to the point that you just act like a total ass to them or do anything to avoid them? That was Marinette's relationship with Lila. After knowing each other for nearly three years, Marinette was absolutely done with her. She was so done with her that whenever she was near Marinette, she would block her existence out of her reality. Which you think was hard, but actually not for Marinette.

"No, I need you to help me with my homework. See, I just took sewing 102 and I am having a horrible time trying to make this bikini and- the answer is no." Marinette said as she cuts Lila off midway. Adrien gives Marinette a concerned look before butting into the situation.

"Marinette would love to help you with your homework!" Adrien said.

"No, she wouldn't!" Marinette growled, only to have Adrien's hand slap on to her mouth.

"She would love to help you with your costume homework because that is what Marinette does. She helps people, right Marinette?" Adrien asked. Marinette sighed in his hand, annoyed by his words.

"Of course Adrien. Then you can deal with that problem about the sugar." Marinette growled. Adrien saw the anger and rage forming in her eyes, which made Adrien realize that what he said was stupid and he needed to fix it.

"On second thought, Mari and I need to do something. Have a nice day Lila!" Adrien tells the girl before running out of the area. Marinette nods her head before following, leaving Lila in front of the burning trash can, just as the firemen came running around the corner...

* * *

Kikkie: thanks for reading!


	8. Toes?

"That is it! That is it! That is IT! IT! IT! IT!"

Marinette shouted as she points to the four teens sitting at the desks in front of her. After a long week of saving lives, doing school work…and some possibly some illegal business on the side, Marinette has had enough of what was happening. So, she called in a meeting.

"What is it?" Adrien asked.

"You all! Ever since I agreed to the keeper of the stupid box of magic and fairy dust!"

"Don't forget make-believe and unicorns," Tikki added from Marinette's bag. She and all the other Kwami's were hiding in their respective places from fear of Marinette.

"I haven't slept in DAYS!" Marinette shouted. "I have to take care of multiple flying mini gods while also trying to make sure you all have attachable limps!"

"We almost fell into a wood chipper, big deal," Chloe says in annoyance as Ayla looks down in shame.

"Getting a call at 2 A.M in the morning about your comrades tripping over a roof and falling into a woodchipper can make anyone shit their pants! I'm just saying that right now!" Marinette shouted.

"I told you, you should have called Adrien, not her!" Chloe growled at Ayla. The dark skin female shrugs her shoulders.

"She is on my speed dial! I was inches away from the blades."

"That's another thing!" Marinette growled loudly. "Why was the person in the wood chipper calling me instead of the person outside of the wood chipper trying to save the person!?"

"I had just had my nails done…"

"Give me your god-dam miraculous!" Marinette growled. "All of you!"

"What!?" The four teens shouted as Marinette goes into her purse to pull out various small jewel boxes that had keys already attached to them. Setting them down on Adrien's desk, she points to them before saying.

"Everyone, put your miraculous into a box," Marinette ordered. They all stared at her with wide eyes.

"Marinette…" Nino started. "What if we get attacked?"

"I will give you each a key to someone else's miraculous! If an attack happens, then we can all regroup and actually do something that doesn't involve nearly impaling someone." Marinette's eyes slowly move over to Adrien.

"How else do you expect me to get places unless I push myself up!"

"You can turn your weapon into a helicopter!" Marinette shouted. "Hell, you can fly!"

"But it hurts my hand…" Adrien says with a weak smile. Marinette left eye twitched in annoyance before placing her hand out. Revealing in her hand, a red key and an already closed box.

"You can have my key, and I will take yours. But you will put your ring in the box!" Marinette growled. Adrien stood up from his seat, crossing his arms, he puts his back to her and says.

"You are not getting my ring. I don't care if you have to claw it from my cold dead."

"famous last words…" Ayla muttered.

"You are not getting my ring! You and I are partners that watch over these two! You don't get a right to take my jewel from me!" Adrien growled at her.

"I am the master of the Kwami box! I care for 20 singing Kwami's every night until 1 am! And then I am horribly woken up over the dumbest of things! Like a wood chipper! A box of cocaine or god forbids, someone's secret getting out of social media because she forgot to turn off her webcam!"

Marinette's eyes shot right at Ayla. The brown skin girl looks to the side in shame.

"We had to destroy google!" Marinette shouted. "google, Adrien! **GOOGLE**!"

"Technically speaking, we turned it off…" Nino awkwardly chuckled. This only made Marinette even madder.

"And then there was time Chat Noir got his tongue pierced!" Marinette growled as she pulls up the Ladybug Blog to show Adrien the incident. "As both your partner in crime…"

"Don't you mean partners injustice," Nino asked.

"Not when its **MariChat** time." Adrien giggled, only to have the back of his shoulder attacked. Resulting in him whimpering a pit.

"As your partner in whatever scenario! I cannot wake up at midnight any more to save you from making an awful choice!" Marinette shouted. "For christ's sake, I had to sneak you into your house because you were scared of your new bodyguard!"

"Yea, I needed help because you cut off my toes!" Adrien shouted as he removes his shoes. Revealing a bloody sock. Chloe nearly falls out of her seat as Nino gasps as Ayla pulls out the cross and starts praying for the end of the chapter.

"What happened!?" Chloe screamed.

"My father got this stupid human-size animatronic called Mister X to guard the house!" Adrien shouted as he forcefully puts his shoe back on. "That stupid robot stomped on my toes and refused to let me out of the house! That's why I called you!"

"A day later!?" Marinette asked as she shrugs her shoulders in confusion.

"It took my phones and my daddy was gone!" Adrien growled.

"But why did she have to cut off your toes?" Nino asked.

"By the time I had gotten there, the machine refused to let us out and his toes were turning purple! We had no choice; he would have gone into shock and eventually die if I didn't cut them!" Marinette explained.

"How did you cut off his toes? Wasn't Google not active?" Ayla asked.

"It was easy! All you need is a bottle of vodka, pain killers, a torch and gardening sheers sharp enough to cut through the skin. When you put them under the torch, their strong enough to pierce through bones. Plus if it is heated, it cauterizes the wound." Marinette says as in a proud voice. Chloe looks over to Ayla with widening eyes before shaking her head in fear.

"Marinette, is there something your not telling us?" Ayla asked, but Marinette shrugs off her friend's question.

"So…Where are his toes?" Nino asked.

"The real question is, why he didn't go to the hospital this morning!?" Marinette growled. "Obviously, your bleeding!"

"I have a lot on my mind! I am sorry my drama is causing you a lot of suffering to the point that you would make this important decision without me!" Adrien shouted.

"That's not the point…" Marinette growled. "I am tired, and I need a break. Not from hero work, but form you all! I mean Christ Sake Adrien, your bleeding!"

Marinette shouted, both her hand's points to the small puddle forming around Adrien shoe. But the young man refuses to give in. Cross his arms, he turns his back to her before saving:

"You are going to have to wait till I bleed out because I am NOT giving you my Mira-*BANG*

And like a house of cards or a rather thing young man who doesn't eat as much as his growing body needs, Adrien falls to the ground. Nearly hitting the desk I the process as his eyes shut close. Marinette, who was twirling Adrien's shovel in her hand, orders Plagg to remove the ring for her. Doing as told, he removes the ring and hands it to Marinette. After locking his jewel and giving him her box key, she looks over to the other with a sadistic…Chat Noir like smile.

"Anyone else wants to say no?"

"OH MY GOD! YOU KILLED ADRIEN!" Nino screamed at the top of his lungs.

"YOU HORRID BITCH!" Chloe screamed next. As the two were screaming, all five Kwami's were examining the young man.

"He's not dead!" Pollen tells them. "She just made him fall asleep. But, why is his foot bleeding?"

"I had to cut them off." Marinette sigh. "Nino, where's your gym bag, I am going to drag Adrien to the hospital."

"Why do you need a gym bag?" Nino asked.

"To carry his body…"

* * *

 **Kikkie** : It's weird, I seem to write better when I am depressed than when I am happy. And no, I am not talking about what's happening with MLB, thats not in my power. even though Thomas wouldnt mind playing at my heartstrings!

No, again, as I said before many times, a lot has happened in my life and I am just tired. I am sorry that I haven't been updating with any of my stories recently, something happening in my life that I can barely do anything, let alone please understand that I am not doing this on purpose or forgetting, I just have so much shit on my plate right now,

Anyway, thank you very much for your thoughts and prayers, and thank you for reading!


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